He needs to get around. I am going to build a super-vehicle, and I'm going to do it with the help of these guys, West Coast Customs.
(Applause) They are the people that design cool cars. They did things for Mad Max. They did a Batmobile.
They've done 30, count 'em, 30 custom cars for Shaquille O'Neal, which is probably why he's doing all those Icy Hot commercials.
(Laughter) When the heat is on, the pain is gone. Anyway, the point is this. I need a vehicle. We're gonna design it today, build it, take it to San Diego for Comic-Con.
Sign of the devil, woo!
(Applause) Makes no sense. I'm going. This is pretty exciting. This is the guy who runs the joint, Ryan.
Ryan, how many years have you been working on to customize cars? About 27 years now. 27 Years. Just give me a rough estimate. What is something like this gonna cost this guy? Ballpark.
Between 50 and 75 grand.
I got a bit of a budget today. Okay. Did they tell you?
No. We're looking to spend about $400.
(Laughter) That's so cool. (Laughter) This looks dangerous.
Yeah, it's probably-- This Smurf looks like. Was this Smurf struck by the car, and rolled up over the top? He looks like he's bleeding internally, and he's not gonna make it, and this one's a sociopath that doesn't care. (Laughter) Hey Ryan, what do you think? Could this be my superhero car? Okay, tell me.
Conan, there's been a bank robbery. You've got to get there right away. Yeah, Conan, there's been a bank robbery. You gotta get there right away.
You've gotta give it a little more urgency than that. I'm sorry, sorry.
It's a bank robbery. There's a bank robbery going on right now. You need to get there right away.
You gave it a little too much. Let's take it down a step. One more time. Just say there's a bank robbery, we got-- There's a bank robbery going on right now.
You need to get there. Still not satisfied, but okay. I'll get them. (Laughter) Oh, jeez.
Oh, god. Okay, hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
There's nowhere for this foot to go. Shut the door. (Laughter)
Shut the door. This doesn't really instill fear, does it? God, who fits in this? This is like the Kevin Hartmobile.
(Laughter) Hey, wait a minute. Now we're talking. This could be the skeletal frame of what we do, right? Right. You know what I like? It's got no door.
I just jump in. The knees come up a lot, but we can adjust the seat maybe. We can move the seat back. 'Cause right now, this doesn't feel like, "I'll get you, evil-doers!" This is crazy.
This paint job right here. Fast boat, kind of reminds you of fishing. It reminded me of a whore (laughter) more than a fast boat, but yeah, we'll go with yours. Okay.
Yours is a better association.
I wish I hadn't said whore, but I did. (Laughter) That one's outta the... That one's out. So this is Musa.
Musa does, basically takes everything out of my mind and puts it on paper. And then this is Lorenzo to make sure everything gets done. Is it Musa? Musa.
Okay. Say it again, Musa? Musa.
Now you got it.
Gentlemen, let's start hearing some ideas. Women want to have sex with Conan in this car. Men fear this car. Animals want to be hit by this car.
(Laughter) I don't know why I added that, just something I thought of. Is there a way we could get a sneak peak of this dark uniform you wear? Gentlemen. Behold. (Cheers) We want to get this image in, the hair.
Mm-hmm. Okay? Don't sketch yet, Musa. Just think.
All right. Think, then sketch.
Okay.
This is something we should talk about. Yeah, the package.
The package. Yeah. This is an exact duplicate of my own extremities.
I want to also draw your attention, gentlemen, to the ass.
(Laughter) Now, again, it is sculpted. You could crack walnuts with this thing, and frankly I have.
Oh. You just, you really just, just grab it. Musa, come here, come here.
Mm-hmm.
Just get in here beside it and just grab that. You see, now that's a man's ass. Yeah, why would you do that? [Ryan] Why would you? That's-- You can say no, Musa. I'm wondering if there's some sort of a (exhales) shape, and let's not be afraid to go with it.
Is there any point, maybe in the front of the car, where there's a desk right here with a microphone, you know what I'm saying? I want to say something. I know you've built some cars for some pretty big celebrities. I'm not just another celebrity coming in who wants a car. I know the boy from the Sopranos called you last week, and had you, you know, make him a custom something.
Okay, fine, he was good. Don't know how he's doing now, but he had his day, but I'm not that kid. What's his name? Find out Research, and flash it up. [Announcer] Robert Iler.
There you go.
(Laughter) Excellent. Let's do it. (Tense music) (cheers) (heroic music) Behold! You've got the hair. You've got the talk-show desk inside.
Cup-holder. Check out that hood ornament, everybody. (Cheers) Look at the flying cape in the back. What car has that? (Cheers) And last but not least, the bulge horn.
Look at this bulge horn right here, ladies and gentlemen. (Horn rawrs) (horn rawrs) (horn rawrs) (cheers).
No comments:
Post a Comment