Saturday, May 19, 2018

Undercover Lyft with Shaquille O'Neal

Undercover Lyft with Shaquille O'Neal
My favorite Laker player is Kobe. [Laughs]
You cant get out the car! Are you not entertained? Do you not recognize
what Ive done as a Laker? Whats up everybody, this is Shaq, were
in Atlanta. This is Undercover Lyft and I am the big Glowstache. My name is Charles.
Nice to meet you Charles.

Im Saika. Know what I do?
What do you do? Make bracelets.
You make bracelets? Yeah. Know what this called?
Whats that called? Its called the steam room.
Cause if you look inside you can see the steam, see? My name is Pierre.
Hey Pierre. I am from France.
Angela.

Tu parles francais?
Speak no French. How are you?
Good,  Im Heather. My names Goose. My real job is Im a
cop.

Im off duty right now but I still keep my eye out for stuff.
Look at this. Illegal u-turn in the middle of the street.
Lucky I aint got my badge, lady. Whattup cuz!
Whats going on? Where you from?
I am from Brazil. I went there one time for a singing competition.
Singing? Singing I dont know this song.

Like basketball?
I recently got into basketball because of the Hawks.
Cawh, Ahw. I had a friend who was a Hawks fan.
You know what that is right? Thats a dead hawk. A dead hawk? I dont know a thing about basketball.
Nothing? Nothing.
You know about free throws? Spread your fingers out. And then follow through.
Watch your nails.

Dont want you to do your nails though. Do it 10 times. Three again. Four You know what? You just learned from the greatest
free throw coach of all time.

I wanna play ball but I run funny. My pants
get stuck in my butt. You look like the basketball type. Like you
can get down on the court a little bit.

Nah, mon. I had hoop dreams but they didnt
work out. Did you chase em?
You know, I used to chase trains when I was little. You chased trains? Used to chase trains.
You got a pretty pretty rich backstory.

Whos your favorite basketball player?
I gotta stick with Dikembe, I mean. No, no, no.
No, no, no. He block everybodys shot?
Mmhm. Nobody ever dunked it in his face?
Not that I saw.

Huh. Not that you saw. My favorite movie. Kazaam.
Kazaam? Its a movie Its a good No, no.

Its everybodys favorite movie. Can you rap? Let me hear freestyle. Ima give you a beatbox. Ready?
[Rapping] Rollin my Lyft with my rasta.

We dont eat pasta. We washin our cars.
Stop. Thats terrible, mon. I mean, lets see yours, though.
Im good, Drake.

[Rapping] Je ne sais pas cause I dont
know, cause Im from France and yo, yo, yo. [Singing] Vigilante shes a renegade. Brave,
but deep inside shes afraid shell never let it be known.
Steam room. Donuts.

[Singing] Ahhhhhhhh. Me, Im wondering if you are Shaquille O'Neal now, man.
No, man. Stop it! My beard is itching. Ah.

Do I look familiar
to you? Oh my gosh. You ever see my face before?
Oh my god! Ah! Its me! I had a feeling. No you didnt! I didnt know it was you at all. I kinda figured it out.

Like early on, when
I saw your wig, sir. I just lyfted with Shaquille ONeal guys. Did you not know it was me, for real?
I really didnt. Im about to brag to everybody today, watch.

Ive come a long way since Kazaam..

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